Liner notes to my newest muxtape
Muxtape is a great service by a neat guy. When it launched, I created a couple of slow muxtapes. That seems like a problem. I have solved that problem.
Introducing cockrock.muxtape.com. Please read the liner notes below as you listen to the mix.
cockrock.muxtape.com
The liner notes
This is music so brutal, so carnal, so primal that when you see these bands live you don't even watch them. You stand in front of the monstrous convulsing speakers and let your body soak it in. This is as close to nature as you're going to get today. This mix tells you that you're going to be a better parent than your parents were. This is important, you're going to teach this stuff to your kids. Onto the songs.
- Eagles of Death Metal - I Want You Soo Hard (Boy's Bad News)
This song starts everything on the right note. The short track starts with a little laugh, perhaps a giggle, that tells you that you've come to the right place. The laugh says, "this will be nice, you're in for a treat, now check out these monster guitars."
- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Whatever Happened To My Rock & Roll
This song follows suit with a very similar tempo. It sounds like your first leather jacket. While that jacket was ill-fitting and somehow constantly smelled of dust, whiskey and early twenties body odor, both the jacket and this song remind you that guitars sound better on vinyl.
- Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song
This isn't the first time you've heard a lot of these songs, and this one is no exception. Hearing it now feels like you're sitting through a history lesson you've heard a number of times. As if your stoner history teacher is totally phoning it in and the lecture is a rerun. But, you always liked this lesson and it helps you remember your roots. Also, you're not going to have to sit through the acoustic bits later in original album.
- Queens Of The Stone Age - Little Sister
This song starts out with a woodblock. It doesn't let up. Most songs don't know how to rock with an entire drum set. The Queens could have done it here with only a hollowed out block of wood. But they don't stop there. The drums keep up, chanting starts and the simple guitar solo tempts you to break out your air guitar.
- Federale - Magic Word
Brooklyn can rock. Federale will explain that to you. They immediately demand your attention, which you give, and you hang on every word they have to say. This song reminds you that guitars aren't best heard on vinyl, they're best heard through an open garage door behind a six pack of beer.
- The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love
I'm not going to lie to you, this is a song for the ladies. Sure, you totally love it, because this song totally kicks ass, but at the end of the day it's a love song and that's not really your thing. Let your chick know that this song says everything that you can't, and ask if she wouldn't mind getting a couple of beers. It's a bit "hair metal," but sweet Jesus these guys rock! Listen to his voice, that shredding... magnificent.
- Black Mountain - Evil Ways
For years and years the song name "Evil Ways" was taken by Santana, repurposed into something to buy groceries to. Not any longer. Black Mountain took that name and gave it an appropriate song. While you're certainly not going to, the drums make you want to play air drums, but you could.
- Mastodon - Colony Of Birchmen
Listen to this glorious mess. The whole sound moves as one. When the guitars, bass and drums all gang up on you about two minutes in, you're not ashamed to admit you're a bit scared. But you're pretty sure you hear Josh Homme in there, letting you know everything is going to be OK.
- Tenacious D - Karate
People suggest that this is a joke band and they laugh at them. I dare you to ask those people to name some bands that aren't a joke... you'll see, they're just confused. Also, this is the only acoustic addition. It rocks so hard, it's only acoustic because our pea brains couldn't handle an electric version of this song. Also, at one minute long, this is a perfect chance to smoke a cigarette. Amidst all this balls out rocking, it shouldn't take you much longer than a minute to smoke a cigarette.
- Manowar - King Of Kings
Not only this mix, but the entire history of music has been leading up to this song. It starts strong, and he flat out declares that he owns "the right to be the king of kings." This song is an achievement on par with anything humanity has ever done. When it sounds like it's relenting about a minute and a half in, it sounds like a challenge from them: doubt this, let your guard down. I'd advise against it, close your eyes and get ready.
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