TedRoden.com

Two beards, one soul.

My newest friend and beard hero Mackle.

Blurred to tears

Me this morning

Ticketmaster Makes Dummy Facebook Profiles to Look More Popular

Breakfast (lunch for the lady)

Ergonomic

Enjoying NYC's thunderstorms

Liner notes to my newest muxtape

Muxtape is a great service by a neat guy. When it launched, I created a couple of slow muxtapes. That seems like a problem. I have solved that problem.

Introducing cockrock.muxtape.com. Please read the liner notes below as you listen to the mix.

cockrock.muxtape.com
The liner notes

This is music so brutal, so carnal, so primal that when you see these bands live you don't even watch them. You stand in front of the monstrous convulsing speakers and let your body soak it in. This is as close to nature as you're going to get today. This mix tells you that you're going to be a better parent than your parents were. This is important, you're going to teach this stuff to your kids. Onto the songs.

• Eagles of Death Metal - I Want You Soo Hard (Boy's Bad News)

This song starts everything on the right note. The short track starts with a little laugh, perhaps a giggle, that tells you that you've come to the right place. The laugh says, "this will be nice, you're in for a treat, now check out these monster guitars."

• Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Whatever Happened To My Rock & Roll

This song follows suit with a very similar tempo. It sounds like your first leather jacket. While that jacket was ill-fitting and somehow constantly smelled of dust, whiskey and early twenties body odor, both the jacket and this song remind you that guitars sound better on vinyl.

• Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

This isn't the first time you've heard a lot of these songs, and this one is no exception. Hearing it now feels like you're sitting through a history lesson you've heard a number of times. As if your stoner history teacher is totally phoning it in and the lecture is a rerun. But, you always liked this lesson and it helps you remember your roots. Also, you're not going to have to sit through the acoustic bits later in original album.

• Queens Of The Stone Age - Little Sister

This song starts out with a woodblock. It doesn't let up. Most songs don't know how to rock with an entire drum set. The Queens could have done it here with only a hollowed out block of wood. But they don't stop there. The drums keep up, chanting starts and the simple guitar solo tempts you to break out your air guitar.

• Federale - Magic Word

Brooklyn can rock. Federale will explain that to you. They immediately demand your attention, which you give, and you hang on every word they have to say. This song reminds you that guitars aren't best heard on vinyl, they're best heard through an open garage door behind a six pack of beer.

• The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love

I'm not going to lie to you, this is a song for the ladies. Sure, you totally love it, because this song totally kicks ass, but at the end of the day it's a love song and that's not really your thing. Let your chick know that this song says everything that you can't, and ask if she wouldn't mind getting a couple of beers. It's a bit "hair metal," but sweet Jesus these guys rock! Listen to his voice, that shredding... magnificent.

• Black Mountain - Evil Ways

For years and years the song name "Evil Ways" was taken by Santana, repurposed into something to buy groceries to. Not any longer. Black Mountain took that name and gave it an appropriate song. While you're certainly not going to, the drums make you want to play air drums, but you could.

• Mastodon - Colony Of Birchmen

Listen to this glorious mess. The whole sound moves as one. When the guitars, bass and drums all gang up on you about two minutes in, you're not ashamed to admit you're a bit scared. But you're pretty sure you hear Josh Homme in there, letting you know everything is going to be OK.

• Tenacious D - Karate

People suggest that this is a joke band and they laugh at them. I dare you to ask those people to name some bands that aren't a joke... you'll see, they're just confused. Also, this is the only acoustic addition. It rocks so hard, it's only acoustic because our pea brains couldn't handle an electric version of this song. Also, at one minute long, this is a perfect chance to smoke a cigarette. Amidst all this balls out rocking, it shouldn't take you much longer than a minute to smoke a cigarette.

• Manowar - King Of Kings

Not only this mix, but the entire history of music has been leading up to this song. It starts strong, and he flat out declares that he owns "the right to be the king of kings." This song is an achievement on par with anything humanity has ever done. When it sounds like it's relenting about a minute and a half in, it sounds like a challenge from them: doubt this, let your guard down. I'd advise against it, close your eyes and get ready.

Near shake shack

See what you want

Last week I relaunched my main site. It's got a few bugs, a couple of quirks and the design needs a bit of work. Even with those bugs, I still think it's a lot better than the previous versions and I wanted to point out a couple of things that the new site can do.

Filters

Are you only interested in seeing my breathtaking photos? Just my awesome links or hilarious quotes? That's easy! Just go to tedroden.com/filter/photos or (quotes, links or regular). That way you can see all my photos from all over the web, without going to my separate accounts on flickr, tumblr and anywhere else. Links is a collection links from delicious, magnolia, etc. You get the idea.

Stalkers

Do you want to track my every move? Go to my stalker page: grablr.com/i/am/stalking/tedroden. There you can see what I'm listening to, what I've read, things I've determined are "good," things I've posted online and what I'm planning on reading.

You can even suggest things for me to read by befriending me on delicious and tagging items as "for:fatius" Those things are automatically added to my "Planning on reading" list. When I'm bored, I go through that list.

The old site

If you don't like this change and just want the old site back, you can still get to that too! It helps make the new site.

The most sexist direct mail campaign ever

Yesterday when I opened my mailbox, I pulled out two catalogs for the same book of the month club. One addressed to me and the other to my lady. Sure, it's strange that we got on a book of the month club mailing list, but that isn't the strangest part. These catalogues are actually directed to "men" and "women" separately.

While men get invited to "where a smart reader belongs," women get options for "Love & Looks," "Style & Sex," and "Fabulous Fun!"

Stay classy Double Day.

The boys club	Chick lit